Why Hypnobirthing was more important during birth, than being a Qualified Nurse.. . My Birth experience.

One thing you might not know about me, is that as well as being a Hypnobirthing Teacher, I am a qualified Nurse. Here’s me graduating in 2018.

When I was pregnant, I definitely had some comments that implied that because I was a Nurse.. 'I'll be okay' for the birth bit.. 'because I'll get it'. ‘I'll understand it more’...

Well firstly, I'm a Nurse, not a midwife, birth is not something we learned about at uni, haha. Well, this definitely wasn't the case for me!

But surely I felt okay with all the clinical aspects you might think?

Well, hmmm, in parts, I guess you could say that leading up to birth, the checks they would do, the language used, the understanding of how the NHS 'works' etc, I ,'understood' more due to my knowledge and experience of being a Nurse, yes.

But the labour and birth part? Absolutely not! Being a nurse did not help me in the slightest. I would think perhaps too, that a health professional, a doctor etc would feel fine with the ‘birth bit’ too. But I can guarantee that this isn’t the case. I know of doctors who went into labour and birth absolutely terrified. So that’s one myth busted.

So what did help me during the lead up to birth?

Two main things. Hypnobirthing and my sister.

Let's start with my sister. She is a qualified midwife and she taught me SO much. We really do not get taught anything about birth during school do we, (or for me, at university either)… Why is this? We don’t even get taught about our female anatomy really (can you name every female anatomy part confidently?) But that’s another infuriating issue… anyway…

I would be constantly ringing and speaking with my sister gathering all of this knowledge from her, that I otherwise just would not know.
Unfortunately, we don't get enough of this information during our scheduled health appointments during pregnancy either, in my opinion. I like to know it all! It was so important to me to know as much as I could.

So my sister, taught me so much about my options, the process, what happens in different scenarios, what I could ask for... just SO much. This helped my understanding of what to expect massively.

So, on to Hypnobirthing then.

Me on Holiday at Berwick-upon-Tweed. I was around 5 months pregnant here :)

I started to learn about Hypnobirthing when I was pregnant in 2022. This was before I became a certified Hypnobirthing teacher. I knew I wanted to do some sort of antenatal course or class to prepare for birth as I wanted a positive experience. I didn’t want to be traumatised or have a negative experience. I wanted to feel empowered and amazed, because how bloody amazing are women’s bodies?!

Birth is always something I was in awe of but was also something I had never experienced before and I wanted to do everything I could to prepare for this day.

I learned more about Hypnobirthing and my mind was blown. Not one thing that I learned had any crossover with me being a Nurse though or any 'clinical aspects'. Not one thing. So it really did not matter that I was and am a ‘health professional’. The bits that helped me the most you would not need to set foot into a university setting to learn.

This leads to the question. Is birth clinical?

It seems it doesn't it. What we see on the TV or in films, in a hospital setting, bright lights, people in uniform rushing about, medicine, medical devices, you see it all.

But let's think about this for a second.
Birth isn't an illness.
Birth isn't something to be ‘treated’.
Birth isn't a ‘medical condition’.

There are of course, medical conditions associated with Birth, such as Pre-eclampsia, and these do need to be treated! Thank goodness for our NHS in these instances. This is what I was diagnosed with! But more on that later…

But, birth in general, is what mammals do all of the time right? We are a mammal too, after all.

Our NHS is wonderful, and the maternity system’s aim is to support women, families and babies through the birth process, to do everything they can to keep them safe.

But, I learned it's not always so black and white. What our bodies class as safe, may look different to the standard birth scene we see on TV, within the hospital.

Through Hypnobirthing I learned so much that made me rethink how, as a society we see birth. This traumatic, horrible, painful ordeal that women have to endure to become a mother.

I learned that birth really does not have to be this way (thank goodness!!!)

Hypnobirthing taught me how the environment we birth in, matters SO much.

That as mammals, our instincts tell us to birth somewhere dark, quiet and private, just like any other mammal. That this kind of environment is where are birth hormones, thrive.

Look at the environment of where most women give birth? Noisy, brightly lit and busy. A place most people aren't fond of or feel comfortable in, because it is associated with illness, or worse. I’ve never heard any one say ‘Oh i’ve got a hospital appointment later, I’m really looking forward to it’.

BUT, how hospitals can look after you IF needed, is why they are, in my opinion, usually the option most people lean towards when having their baby. There's stats on home birth that I won’t go into now, but I also learned that home births are not as ‘risky’ as we are led to believe either…

So, I was faced with a dilemma. I knew that my ‘mammal body’ needed a dark, quiet, private place, to feel safe enough to give birth and to give myself the best chance of having a positive experience… BUT, my medical condition associated with pregnancy (Pre-eclampsia) alongside some other things they were keeping an eye on via more scans, meant that I personally felt safest having medical professionals around me, meaning I need to be in a noisy hospital. You can hear my cogs turning from here can’t you.

Holding my son a few minutes after he was born and following his Caesarean birth.

Luckily.. there was a compromise. Through Hypnobirthing techniques and knowledge, I learned there are ways to create a lovely, calm, environment WITHIN whatever setting we are in for birth, and I used this to my advantage.

I made my environment as cosy as I could. I used lovely scents, familiar music that makes me feel good, soft blankets, knowledge of different positions that I felt more ‘comfy’ in, knowledge around how I can communicate with my health professionals in a better way and more. I also had my comfort people. Two birth partners (my partner and my sister) who makes me feel safe.

As I mentioned, I was diagnosed with Pre-eclampsia and this is a reason I ALWAYS talk about how we have to let go of what we can’t control. I couldn’t control my diagnoses.

Now I’ll be honest, I didn’t prepare as much as I would (in hindsight) for a Caesarean birth. I had gathered so much knowledge prior to given birth that in all honestly, I felt if I had given birth at home spontaneously, I would have felt more confident.

I have since then, trained as a Hypnobirthing Teacher and my goodness, have learned more about Hypnobirthing now than I could have ever imagined! I was only scratching the surface before!

So I took all of that, my own birth experience, all of the knowledge I gathered from my sister, more research and of course, Hypnobirthing, and neatly packaged it into my new baby, my business - The Birth Shed! Where I get to share all of it, with others, to prepare for their babies in a way I wish I had, before having my baby boy.

Being a Qualified Nurse didn’t matter when it came to my labour and birth. But the skills I have from being a Nurse (mainly working with so many different people) helps me so much now, when connecting with you all. I have extended my nursing arms into the birth and Hypnobirthing world too! And I absolutely love it.

Donna xxx